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Moms and Dads Place Different Values on Sex

The now celebrated differences between men and women, perhaps best chronicled in Women are From Venus, Men are From Mars, have a major impact on how we experience the rewards of sex.

These differences are intensified by new family stresses and a woman's changing priorities, which are reflected in her evolving needs under the covers. You will need to refocus your priorities as well to keep up.

While unique to each couple, sex offers two major rewards beyond the obvious one (the baby in your lap). The rewards, and mom's and dad's differing valuations of them, are as follows:

Dads value intense pleasure first
For most men, sex is first about pleasure, and the more the better. We are straightforward in our desire; there is no mystery about it to our mates, for whom sex is often a reward to us for loving them and making them happy.

Our sex drive culminates quickly, and when we climax, we're done, or so it appears. Actually, as we lie there, perhaps even snoring, in addition to savoring the pleasure of sex, we also enjoy the warm and satisfying feeling that comes from knowing we are wanted by the woman we love.

The latter feeling is the one that lingers.

Moms value an intense emotional connection first and last
For most moms to enjoy it, sex needs to be an act of love. Being in the mood is not simply being horny as it is for men; they need to experience a strong sense of affection for us and feel we love them back.

Anything that gets in the way may be a mood killer. And with new moms, there are many issues that can get in the way.

While women ultimately can experience intense pleasure as well, they are likely to value our sensitivity and attention to their emotional needs, both before and after intercourse, just as much.

Therefore, when we summit, rolling over and starting to snore, even with a smile on our face, may not be smart. She might want to stay connected, get hugs and kisses, and savor her intense feeling of love and being loved.

Otherwise, when we are finished, she might just be getting started. It helps to think of it as making love rather than just sex, because it needs to be for her to enjoy it.


Take our website home with Crash Course for Dads-To-Be.

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