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Do Things Together
To get her mind on something other than the baby, try the following. If that something turns out to be you, you are on the road back.
Bring Out the List
Some couples make a list of the things they liked to do together before the baby arrived. If you made one, it is time to bring it out, pick one of the items and do it.
Just spending a little time talking about the activities you enjoyed will remind her of the good times that were special to you both.
If you didn't make a list, think about it now - maybe it includes things like renting a movie, playing a board game, or just going out and walking around the mall.
Engage in Adult Conversation
For the first few months, the baby is the sole topic of your discussions. As you engage the outside world at work, your mate is probably at home talking to the baby, or talking about the baby.
Help her break her isolation by asking her about anything other than the baby (current events, her pre-baby interests, what's going on with friends, etc).
Get Out on Weekends
Go on a date with your mate and your baby - to a sporting event, the zoo, or just out for a walk. There's a tendency to associate your house with baby-related chores, so just getting out and doing those baby chores elsewhere is fun.
As simple as it sounds, it's a great way to begin reconnecting with your partner. Prepare a gourmet dinner together.
A mom who gets regular exercise is a happier mom. She loses weight, increases her energy, tones her body, burns off stress, balances hormones, and enhances her attitude. (Same for you.)
Getting exercise together by walking (or jogging or bike riding) with your baby is a particularly great idea. It gets you out of the house, your baby enjoys it, and it provides an opportunity to talk.
Go to Bed Together
Try getting to bed at the same time as your partner. Otherwise one of you inevitably will be asleep when the other one hits the hay. Just having that little window of private time goes a long way. You can use it to chat, snuggle, or whatever else feels right.
She has a lot of physical contact with a demanding baby and may not want any more at first. Take it slow and give her a foot rub, back rub, some hugs, and warm up to spooning.
It is critical that you avoid erogenous zones and do not indicate desire for sexual activity. After several nights of feigning eunuch type behavior, you should be able to move up to foreplay.
They don't always work due to changing priorities and intrusions, but if nothing is scheduled, you may never get around to it. Expect excuses, particularly "I am too tired," and be flexible, but stick to it and at some point it will become part of your routine. Perhaps the best part.
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