Becoming a Dad Article
Babies Can Push Us Together or Apart
No matter how much two people love each other, the process of becoming a family tends to polarize you and your partner.
Men and women become parents in fundamentally different ways, and in different timeframes. Mom tends to fall head over heals in love with her baby early on, while dad is inclined to take a slow, get-to-know-you approach with his son or daughter.
Differences in values, family background, personalities and priorities come to the surface, and are intensified by the demands of caring for an infant and the issues involved in raising and shaping one's own child.
Babies also divide parents by overwhelming mom directly with physical, emotional and lifestyle changes while leaving dad relatively unscathed. Many moms resent these circumstances and feel that dad is not doing his "part," which of course he cannot.
It is tougher for new parents today because times have changed and moms and dads do not know what to expect of each other, or often of themselves. The gender wars of the past decade have added new dimensions, and intensity, to normal conflicts.
Being unprepared for the divisiveness of raising a young child, many couples start to experience a decline in marriage quality. Parents expecting their babies to bring them closer are surprised and angered when they find themselves drifting apart.
I found if I get frustrated with the situation, I need to go downstairs and calm down because otherwise I just get more frustrated.
Dad Every Mom, Dad and Baby Is Different
Keep in mind that every mom, dad, and baby is different, and each family combination is unique. Each one is a moving target, as they constantly are going through changes.
Sorting your issues out will take time, and all the expert advice in the world will not sort it out for you. You will have to work it out together.
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