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Fussy Two Month Old Son

QUESTION:

I have a 2 month old son who is really fussy. My husband is finding that he gets very frustrated when he has to help with the baby. We are both very worried. He wants to get some help on dealing with the baby, but we don’t know where to go. He thinks he needs to talk to a counselor about his anger because he’s worried about being with the baby when I have to leave. He gets so frustrated he’s afraid of what he might do, which is scary to me too.

Do you have any advice?




ANSWER:

Please pass this on to your husband . . .
First, a very fussy baby at 2 months old is about as bad as it gets. At 3-4 months, the crying is largely over. I know another 1-2 months sounds like an eternity, but your baby’s crying is peaking and will start getting better soon. Second, you likely have no idea how common your feelings are; many new fathers with fussy babies are incredibly frustrated over not being able to stop the crying, and you are far from alone. Lots of very strong feelings and doubts arise.

If you feel yourself getting really angry with your baby’s crying, put her/him in the crib and walk away. Count to ten. Count to ten again. And again if you have to. And definitely talk to a professional to assess your anger issues and assure they handled.

Your biggest challenge, beyond getting through the next 1-2 months, is not letting this early experience with your baby get in the way of your relationship with your child as he or she grows. We all have strengths and weaknesses as fathers and if you just keep trying to do your best, you will do fine as a dad.

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