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Trapped In a New Situation










QUESTION:

I should feel guilty for writing down these thoughts, and I do. But at the same time I feel like I'm going to pop. My wife and I decided to move to another part of the country where she just about found a new job immediately. I stayed behind to look for a new job and take care of business. I had no luck finding a job, so I resigned and came out here just before our 2-month old son was born. I love this city, but I have yet to find a job. We are ok financially, but still I miss working very badly. She already made a bunch of new friends through her job, but I have made none since I have been home almost constantly due to weather and helping her with our son. Now, she is going to work soon, what's worse, she works nights. So, when I eventually find a job, I have to work all day, come home and watch our baby. Her weekends fall on Wednesday and Thursday which of course are "work nights" for me.

The bottom line is I feel trapped. I love my son and my wife more than anything in the world, but I feel trapped. No opportunity to make friends. No opportunity to enjoy the new city. Just work and babysit. What do I do? How do I change myself?




ANSWER:

First, you need something to look forward to, and I suggest you think of something you want to do together with your son while he is growing up. Some sort of hobby/adventure that you will enjoy and that will provide an opportunity to teach your son important lessons about life, manhood, etc. You can start now, and he can join in slowly as he grows. This is a great way to go as a father, and will also provide an opportunity to connect with other guys who are into the same hobby/adventure. Second, the schedule you anticipate could be tough on your marriage, as you will have few opportunities to be together. Make your relationship a priority and take full advantage of opportunities to be together by planning activities. Arrange for a babysitter yourself, as your wife will naturally put your baby and her job first. You may also find you connect with her friends' husbands.

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