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Stressful Mother-in-law Situation










QUESTION:

I am a father of 6 days and I am very happy, however, the last two days I have been trying to help my newborn son use up as much energy as possible so he can sleep better through the night.

My mother-in-law did not approve and made it very known to me right in front of everyone and it caused a bit of a scene. She then called her daughter, my wife, the next morning telling her it was not a good idea. My wife started to cry and then stress out. I am completely anti-stress and don’t want my wife affected by the stress so I said OK to the new advice.

My mother-in-law came over again the next morning and took over the house once again and cooked and cleaned and held the baby, which I am very grateful for, but it is a bit much. I did not respond the best to her gestures and became cold and aloof. She got mad, then left the house. My wife is now crying again. I need help as to how to handle this situation, and fast.




ANSWER:

Congratulations on your new baby.

Grandma’s can be very possessive, but they also bring a lot of help. You will score huge points all around if you say to your mother-in-law, “I am trying to be the best dad I can to my baby, and I don’t have any experience so I could use some advice.”

Huge points, especially with the wife. Grandma might help you two get some sleep too, which is the best way to deal with a newborn who is going wake up every few hours no matter what you do for the first two months – can’t really wear them out so they sleep more – it’s all about feeding.

The next 1-2 months will be tough, especially on the sleep, so get all the help you can. Having grandma nearby will be great for alone time with the wife.

Make it clear to her that you are doing your best to raise her grandchild, and you will win her over.

Good luck with your new family.

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