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Nervous and Scared About Becoming a Dad










QUESTION:

I'm proud to say I'm going to be a father for the first time in less than 2 months. I am usually a very unemotional guy, but I've never felt so nervous and to be honest never been so scared. What If I don't turn out to be the dad he needs for me to be, or what if financially I'm not ready, or (what really scares me the most) what if something goes wrong? I'm getting to the point where I can't sleep at night. My question is how can I assure myself that I'll be alright when I don't even know what I'm facing?




ANSWER:

Three things. First, you are getting an intense dose of concerns/fears all dads-to-be have, which pushes us do to our best as fathers. It is partly driven by biology to help secure the survival of the species, and partly due to the fact we are taking on the toughest and most important challenge of our lives. The good news is you have an intense drive to be a good dad to your son, so you should take that off your worry list.

Second, you are getting overly anxious for the first time in your life, and don’t know how to deal with it. Reaching out to get solutions (as you are) is a great move; suggest you Google search “dealing with anxiety” for ideas. Physical exercise, talking to your partner, and taking constructive steps on concerns that you can address (finances) can instill a sense of confidence that you will handle whatever you encounter. If your anxiety gets worse, talk to your doctor about short term solutions, as news dads find most concerns and fears quickly go away once their baby arrives.

Third, find a Boot Camp for New Dads near you. Comparing notes with other dads-to-be and watching new dads take care of their babies for 3 hours would calm your nerves and give you the feeling “I can do this too."

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