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Feeling Completely Disconnected from Baby


I have a 5-year-old son and never had a challenge connecting with him; seeing him as a person. I understood that even though his crying got on my nerves, he was real and valued in my life. The exact opposite is happening with my 4-month-old daughter. I feel completely disconnected from her. So much so that her existence is relatively meaningless to me. I know that sounds terrible. I try to play with her, talk to her, but nothing seems to work.

Not sure what to do.


Try getting some serious time alone with your daughter, like taking her with you when you go out. This will give you both a chance to get a new start, and trust me she will do her part.

Babies are fascinated by anything new so you can do anything you want. Take her to the hardware store and point out the tools, the mall, the backyard to show her the leaves on the trees, basically just show her the world, which is what us dads have done since we lived in caves.

You can do swimming lessons with her this summer and think about getting to take her to the beach or lake in a few years. Water not your thing? Get her a soccer ball or softball to chew on. Roughhouse with her, fly her around like Supergirl, both will enhance her motor skills. Lay her on your chest for a nap; her in a diaper with your shirt off works best.

Don't expect anything to change because that alone can get in the way. Just let it happen.

Babies changed dramatically as they grow and each phase gives you an opportunity for love and connection.

Hang in there; she needs you, and you need her.

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