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Dealing with the Mother-In-Law










QUESTION:

We are about to have our first baby and her mother treats the pregnancy like it was her own. She tells my wife how to do this and that, and is trying to talk her into an induction. My wife tends to listen to her mother more than me.

She wants to be in the delivery room and I can just see her telling me what to do. She calls my wife nonstop all day and if she doesn't answer the phone she thinks something is wrong and gets mad at my wife for not answering the phone.

She even mentioned that she could take her to the hospital when she goes into labor. I just need some advice on how to handle the mother-in-law without hurting anyone's feelings.




ANSWER:

Over-exuberant mothers-in-law are a common problem for new dads (and moms), although you have an extreme version. Bottom line is that you need to stand your ground and do not let her come between you and your baby - regardless as to whether any feelings are hurt.

Tell your wife that "we are going to have a child who we need to raise together, and your mom seems to be assuming that it is her and your baby. I am getting pushed out of the way. We need to set some ground rules."

 I also suggest that you have a similar talk with grandma, who may not like it at first. Bottom line for them is they both want "their" baby to have a great dad, which is what you are trying to be. Good luck and let me know how it works out.

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