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Dad Not Interested in Relationship Anymore










QUESTION:

My fiancée and I have been engaged for 2 ½ years and have a 4 month old baby girl who was planned.

All of a sudden he has been saying that he doesn't know how he feels about me anymore, that there is no feeling when there’s anything to do with me and he cannot picture me in his new little family. He was away working a fun job with his family during my whole pregnancy instead of helping me throughout it (left me at my mothers).

Is this normal? He says he will still always be here but I refuse to let him near me and my daughter if he leaves since I know he will go back to heavy smoking and he wants to get covered in tattoos. I don’t want smoking near her (extreme asthma in the family). I have been a bit worried that it is the girls next to his work; apparently they ask him about me, though maybe he’s just sick of it?

Do you have any ideas? Anything will help. When I do try to talk it out he jumps straight to not feeling the same about me, yet he says he doesn't even know why.




ANSWER:

Take every opportunity to have him be with his daughter, show him how to care for her, compliment him on how good he is with her and tell him how well she responds to him. This will get them connected, and also offer him a new perspective of you as a great mom to his baby. While it will require a great deal of strength and patience on your part, put your future together on hold and don't bring it up. Let nature, (which he is getting a late start on due to being away during the pregnancy), take its course. Tell him smoking around his daughter would be very bad for her, particularly due to the asthma issue, don't worry about tattoos or the girls, and know that "refusing to let him near me and my daughter" is very counter-productive as it will just push him away. Take as constructive an approach as possible to this very difficult situation..

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Good luck.

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